Wheelock G. Veazey to Julia A. Veazey
I wish I were with you tonight. We have had a long cold storm. It seems as tho we
should never have any warm weather. Talk about the salubrity of Southern
climate. Perhaps if my sweet wife were in the South I should like it better. The
climate that produced you my angel is the best for me. How the Sunshine &
love of yr eyes have warmed me. I feel it here & everywhere. How perfectly
happy one single look fr you has made me. No eyes could ever look so much love
but remember & save it for me. I am to selfish to share a single look.
Darling I could smother you with kisses. When shall I have the opportunity? I do
hope it will be soon, but I dare not calculate when. The problem of this war is
beyond my power to solve. But it must end sometime like every thing else &
then I go to my own darling wife if alive. I seem to have but little fear of
falling. The prayers of my Angel
Wife sustain me I think. We ought to be very grateful for so much happiness. Was’nt it singular that I should think to consecrate our engagement with a prayer, when we were so happy & almost wild with passion, for love is a passion, tho no bad one when mingled with honor & sincerity. You could not have had a more passionate lover - yet I could not deceive you. The world looked gloomy to me then. I had seen enough of it to know that the struggle must be hard, to attain any eminence, & I had too much ambition to remain satisfied with a very low position. It was asking a great deal of you, to undertake it with me - especially when I expected so much assistance fr you. I could not always control my actions towards you but I was ever determined to be honorable. My love was almost fearful sometimes. How many times I have set from one recitation to another in college with my book open before me & only thought of you the whole time. I have written you many a letter on purpose to give vent to my thoughts so I could study. Every day I used get your precious
letters so full of love. I was kept in a constant state of rapture. I never got tired of those endearing adjectives. How they burned into my heart. How I loved you. But what was all that to being with you those long evenings, nights almost, for there was not much left sometimes. Do you remember those long talks on the sofa, & how fast the hours seemed to fly - & how we sometimes got asleep even.&c&c. What plans we made. what promises, what pledges - how we drank love fr each others lips. how we caressed & fondled & loved. What everything we did that foolish, happy, careless, lovers could do. How jealous we were & fault finding & all the more happy for it. How we foolishly thought each others faults were the greatest virtues. Silly children, yet how very happy. Was that all a reality or a dream. My mind runs over so many things & all so bright & beautiful & innocent & pure & sincere - all soft sunshine. I almost think it must be a dream. Remember to talk about it very often always. Let us keep all those sweet memories fresh. It will make us cheerful & youthful & keep alive our love & remind us of our vows. How completely one we were before
we were married. I should dislike to lose any of the happiness we enjoyed yet I would not recommend our course for an example. Would you? I dont remember much that we ever did in public - but all that we did or said when alone is as fresh as tho it happened to-day. I am very glad you are the only sweetheart I ever had. I do wish I were with you. If I could only spend the anniversary of our marriage with you I would be satisfied. When will this causeless unnatural war come to an end. Have you seen the lies about General Smith? It is the most inhumane treatment a man ever received. I was with the General nearly all day & I know he did not touch a drop of liquor. No man ever behaved better on a battle field. He committed no fault or blunders during the day. The officers of the Div are frantic about those accursed lies. They all think & others of the Div. think General Smith is one of the ablest Generals in the U.S. service. I am astonished at the ability he manifests He would have had a department but General McClellan could not spare him for his own [army] He has a few favorites & General Smith is one of them. I know he is not an intemperate man. He is faithful alert & sagacious. We are pressing on our work rapidly. I am detailed as Field Officer of the trenches now in addition to other duties. Will tell you more about it next time.
Yr devoted & fond husbandWheelock.